I do believe a couple weeks went by but 'A' was still very unstable. The things that she once enjoyed became undesirable and the tasks that were not issues, became issues. She cried and screamed and threatened so often. There were many incidences where I probably should have called the police or taken her to the hospital but they were no help.
Heavy wood chairs were picked up and thrown, death threats were screamed...she was miserable. When I thought the situation couldn't get any worse...they did. In one moment of helplessness and exteme emotion, she picked up a knife and took off running with it. She got a wild-eyed look on her face, threatened, laughed, screamed and stabbed walls until I was able to get the knife away from her. I never thought that she'd get to that point...it's still so surreal but a reality because our knives are still locked up to this day!
One saturday, I cannot tell you what led to the incident but... it got bad. She grabbed a very large knife and went around slicing walls again. I could not get the knife from her, I feared what she could do, threatened to call the police and when she didn't drop the knife...I called 911. I kid you not....they must have sent 4-5 cars....THE NEIGHBORS WERE SO CURIOUS. 'A' dropped the knife as soon as the police came to the door and there I was answering the door with a large knife in my hand. 'A' broke down again and sobbed while 2 police sat and talked to her while the others spoke to me. They were more than kind and empathetic. When they asked her why she did what she did, her response was, "I wanted my way". They suggested that I have the ambulance take her to the hospital or that I take her. I called around to the different hospitals and found a different one. By this time, 'A' had passed out...something that was very common after she had an episode.
Two officers stayed until shortly before I left for the hospital. By this time, we were experts about going to the hospital and 'A' was as pleasant as she could be on the car ride. She was just as agreeable and pleasant in the hospital which made it very frustrating. I knew I shouldn't be frustrated because she couldn't help it but I think some probably thought I was crazy.
Several doctors came in and asked her many questions and then made the suggestion of admitting her. When we got to the ward, she was again, very agreeable and the nurse that admitted her, was more than nice. There were patients walking around, looking like zombies...it was so hard to leave her again but she was NOT safe at home.
Her father visited her during early visiting hours and he spoke to her doctors and social worker. I guess from what her father told the doctors, they were convinced that nothing was wrong with her and that she wasn't bipolar. I made an appointment to talk the social worker and doctor the next day. I came with support--from my mother, husband, and social worker...all people that knew and experienced 'A's behavior. After giving the history, the social worker seemed overwhelmed but the dr. wasn't willing to budge. I have no clue what made him change his thinking but he did budge and prescribed her Lithium--a classic medication that has been the topic of a lot of research. I asked that they keep her as long as possible so that they could monitor her in hopes of not having to send her back.
When my ex spoke to the social worker before I got a chance to meet with her, he told the social worker and 'A' that she would be living with him. Something that I did not agree upon and was not reccomended by anyone. His whole reasoning was that 'A' didn't behave the same way with him that she did with me. Ok...but like every dr. and therapist has tried to explain...she eventually will not be able to control her emotions/behavior, once the "honeymoon" phase is over. I guess he spoke against me because she repeated some words that only he would have said and shared some things with her that he should not have.
Another Dr. evaluated 'A' and called me to tell me that he had no problem diagnosing her with bipolar disorder. All he had to do was talk to her and realize that her, "I wanted my way" attitude was more than just that...it was one of the prominent symptoms of bipolar-grandiosity. Only grandiosity is often displayed as a child jumping off of a roof, believing they were superman but the undermining and opposition of authority is also a form of grandiosity. Why didn't I or anyone else realize this?!!? It was such a relief to have some understanding and insight from someone was WAS a medical professional!!! It was getting to the point where I felt like I knew more than the doctors after so many years of research and advocating for my child.
'A' stayed 5 nights in the hospital before they had no choice but to release her. She didn't appear to be unstable or psychotic so the hospital had to make room for children in immediate danger/need. I crossed my fingers, took a deep breath and held it.... It couldn't get worse....right?
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