What brought us here...

I don't really know where to begin this entry because I still can't tell you how we got to this point. 'A' began the school yr and shortly after, began having more difficulty at home. Her therapist that she had seen for a year, moved out of town and shortly after, her mood swings became more severe. She came home one day very aggitated and it quickly escalated into her hanging herself off a 2nd story ledge. Did I really think she was going to hurt herself? Not really... but I AM aware that mistakes happen when people become unstable or unhappy. 'A's father encouraged me to call the police in hopes of getting her calmed down. A female officer, who was very nice and understanding, came out to speak to 'A' and de-escalate. Luckly, 'A' still fears the police and the sight of the officer seemed to jolt her back into reality. She encourged us to call back if we had any other problems.

I discussed the situation with her father and we decided it would be best for her to stay with him for a period of time until I found additional help for her and it gave us a little respite. She ended up staying with him for 3 weeks and this was the first time that her dad participated in her psychiatric appointments.

She came home after that time and believed that she could "behave" and "do better" yet shortly after she returned...the behavior started back up. The door slamming, screaming, threatening, sneaking of food, undermining rules, opposition, defiance, disrespect, refusal to acknowledging boundaries, lying, and sneaking came to a head. I could not tell her "no" without there being a huge meltdown or rage. I tried everything that I knew to give her consequences. At one point, the tv, computer, phone, and outside priviledges were all taken away and it seemed to have no effect on her behavior.

I tried taking 'A' to another therapist who met with me, her father and 'A'...only to make the statement, "wow, she's really bipolar...what do you want me to do with her?" Needless to say, that ended that with the crazy therapist. I wonder if I would keep my job as a special education teacher if I told a parent, "wow, your kid is really retarded...I don't think I can educate him/her."

What made things worse was, her father got into the mode of always wanting to please her, trying to make up for the first couple years of her life that he wasn't around and 'A' learned to manipulate her father to get her way with him. Her father, being a musician, always had 'A' on the go, moving from one student's house to another or she would be at his home with a sitter while he worked. We were in the beginning phase of working towards both his home and my home becoming more similar and structured before her last therapist moved away. 'A' seemed to have more and more difficulty moving from the unstructured and limitless boundaried environment of her dad's house to the structure and boundaries of my home.

One afternoon she came home aggitated but it had a much stronger intensity. She very quickly escalated into threatening to kill herself and meaning it at the time. She hung herself over the ledge again but moved to her bedroom screaming, "I want to die", where I found her on her way out of her 2nd floor window. I was home alone with the baby and had no clue what to do but immediately called 911 and they sent officers and an ambulance. When they came, she saw the police and broke-down crying. I asked that they bring her to the hospital for evaluation. She was transferred and admitted to the psych unit. 5 months later and it still seems so surreal. My 9 year old baby threatened to kill herself and was admitted to the psychiatric unit of a hospital. Our lives were totally turned upside down.