Back to the hospital...

When we arrived at the hosptial, 'A' refused to leave the car and after much coaxing, I was able to get her out of the car. When we arrived to the ER, it was crowded and I had to check-in with 'A' hitting, pushing and biting me. They allowed us to come right back and got security to make sure she didn't get too out of hand. Several, nurses, doctors and social workers came to assess 'A' and eventually admitted her.

We were escorted to the psych unit by an officer. The nurses were surprised to see her back and 'A' really didn't want to be there a second time. We went through the same process of admittance and before I left, I told her I loved her and kissed and hugged her goodbye. I was again, physically and mentally drained.

I visited her in the hospital the next day and my husband and I both spent time with her while one stayed outside the unit with the baby. She was in good spirits again and enjoying spending time with the other children there. 'A' and her sister waived to each other through the window before we left and it was heartbreaking to leave there without both of my children.

The next morning, I met with a new social worker who appeared to be very nice and very helpful. I also met with the head psychiatrist for the unit. I explained why we were back and how I warned the previous psychiatrist about giving 'A' a stimulant and how it triggered mania. He mentioned a certain organization that offered intensive therapy but I had already checked into it. My insurance was not excepted there and we had to pay out-of-pocket. He encouraged us....let's keep it real...he threatened to call CPS if we did not get services from that organization. Talk about loading on the stress and helplessness.

The next day, the psychiatrist called me and told me that they were going to remove the stimulant and try a new anti-psychotic. He also expressed his disbelief that she had bpd and encouraged me to call the police and press charges against her next time she got "out of hand". I could NOT believe what I was hearing. I later spoke to the original social worker that I worked with and asked her if he was serious about his statement. She told me that 'A's situation was difficult and that because 'A' didn't display the negative symptoms with him, then her issues were behavioral and not emotional. She went on to tell me of how it's sometimes is beneficial to file unruly charges and have the children go before a judge. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!

I should be put in jail for filing unruly charges against my 9yr old daughter with a mental illness. Should parents file unruly charges against their children if they have asthma attacks, seizures, our tourettes??? Talk about feeling helpless...I was a wreck.

I did call the organization that offered intensive therapy and we worked out payments based on a sliding-fee scale. 'A' was released from the hospital after 4 nights. She told her father that she was going to behave with a capital B. I didn't want her to feel like she was a "bad girl" because I knew she couldn't control her emotions and I knew she wanted to keep it together but....