A lil bit of everything....

The other day, I went to a workshop led by the author of "Exlplosive Child" and it was held at the Children's hospital where 'A' was admitted to twice, earlier this year. During the break, I walked around the lobby and looked up to the psych unit where 'A' spend many nights and saw the window of the room 'A' stayed in. I couldn't hold back the tears; the feelings of frustration and helplesness came back to me. I am still not at the point where I can think about what our family has been through and not cry. I dropped her off at school a yesterday and tears began streaming down my face, thinking about where we've been, how much better things are, and what the future could hold. I'm just a hot mess! :)

'A' continues to do better and she is actually learning and applying what she is taught in therapy. Understanding this illness has been so empowering for 'A'. I also find that the more stable she becomes, the closer she gets to me and further away she drifts from her father.

She is taking three different medications and supplements and the only obvious side-effect of the one med is weight gain. The one medication that she takes is mainly to counteract the weight gain but it doesn't seem to do much. It's hard to see my naturally slim child put on so much weight and so quickly. I've always had difficulty with my weight and I dont want her to struggle with all that comes with being overweight. I know how it hurts when someone describes you as, "well, the one with a very pretty face".

Court....I had pretrial #3 and it's still not over. This has gotten to be terribly expensive and emotionally draining and our next trial won't be for 3 months....ughhh I have come to the realization that this isn't even about Aminah anymore...it's his attempts to make me unhappy. It's been 9yrs....the guy needs to get a life and a GIRLFRIEND!!! Looks like I will have to draw from my retirement fund to pay the attorney and to continue paying the medicals bills that HE is responsible for... SIGH