Ughhhh

We've suspected for quite some time that 'As' father has not been giving her, her meds and we've recently gotten confirmation. She's recently developed headaches on the days that she returned from her fathers care and when she comes from his house, she is VERY unstable and it usually takes a day or two or even three(now) to get her back to relative stability. I got confirmation by two psychiatrists that lithium can cause headaches when it is not taken consistently, especially when it is not at a therapeutic level (which she wasn't until a few days ago). Now that 'A' is comfortable with taking the meds and knows that they actually help, she is very compliant and often reminds us when it's time to take them. She's told her psychiatrist and social worker on more than one occasion that her father has not been consistently giving her, her medication. We were told not to question her about it but to wait until she volunteered the information and sure enough, she did. When we questioned her about why she didn't remind him like she reminds us...her response was that she was afraid because her father has "anger issues....maybe he's bipolar". So, here we are unable to prove that he's not giving her medication but all the signs say he's not. How do I prove that in court?

A few days ago, I received a ltter from the Guardian Ad Litem and the subject was the fact that I have a block on my phone and when 'A' calls her father, he is unavailable but cannot call her back because of the block. Well, I put the block on the phone because for years, her father has had no impulse control and not respected the boundaries that I have repeatedly made clear. He would often call several times a day and at all hours of the day. Whenever the thought crossed his mind, he would call. He would back his calls off to 1-2 a day and after a week they'd gradually increase to several times. This has been an issue with many that were involved with him. About 3 yrs ago, one of therapists called me with the concern that he was calling her a minimum of 23 times a day. No...that was not a typo. She couldn't answer the calls but the fact that he dialed her that many times shows that we are not dealing with someone whose elevator goes to the top. I encourage 'A' to call her father once a day but anything more than that can lead to an unhealthy relationship. As a matter of fact, it was the recommendation of several therapists that her calls to him be limited and vice versa. It DID get unhealthy and he began questioning her when she was too busy to call him... Almost like a jealous boyfriend, questioning his girlfriend. SICK SHIT!!

Ok...back to the letter that the Guardian ad litem wrote. I responded to the letter via email last night and I have yet to receive a response. Here is what I wrote"

I just received your letter in the mail and I have no problem doing what you suggested as long as Mr. ___________respects my home and maintains healthy boundaries with 'A'. As I've told you in the past, frequent and disruptive phone calls have been an ongoing problem for several years despite my many requests. I just feel it neccesary to make you aware of the fact that 'A' calls and speaks to her father on a daily basis. I would never interrupt this routine unless it became detrimental to her well-being. I really don't think that Mr. _________ issue with the phone calls are about 'A', but more personal in nature.

Before I begin with the next subject, I want to make my intent known that I am speaking as a concerned mother and my intent is not of disrespect. It bothers me that I have communicated with you via email and phone about my concerns with 'A' not getting her medication when she is with her father, and have yet to get a response from you. So, it troubles me greatly that I received the recent letter from you regarding phone calls when 'A's stability is a much more urgent and serious matter. It has come up on several occasions and with several people that she is not consistently getting her medication when with her father. It came up again yesterday, when 'A' spoke privately with her psychiatrist. I was made aware of it when her psychiatrist privately spoke to me and addressed her concerns about this very serious matter. I shared with her, my feelings of helplessness and frustration because I am bound to this court order when my child is suffering. No one wants this case that never should have begun, to be over more than I, but I'm asking you as a desperate and frustrated mother, that you, as one that I am obligated to compensate as a legal representative in the best interest of 'A', to address and investigate this very serious issue. Lately, my daughter has frequent homicidal and suicidal thoughts and I will do everything within my power to help her and advocate for her.


I go to court tomorrow for pretrial #5..or 6. I lost count! If there is no resolve, the next step is a trial. I spoke to my attorney today and he dropped a bomb on me and told me that the Guardian Ad Litem made a comment that she is in favor of shared parenting. All this after she made two recommendations against shared parenting. I'm not being overly sensitive by saying she is NOT and has not been working in the best interest of 'A'. My guess is that "A's father has been calling and emailing her constantly and has somehow got her ear. This is a nightmare and at this point it would slow things up and cost A LOT more money if I requested a new guardian ad litem. I'm so over this...

All of the court shit on top of 'A's instability is too much. I love 'A' very much but when she's mean and oppositional, she really gets to me. It makes me question why I'm going through all of this with the court... Then, she comes back and she's sweet and loving and a wonderful daughter and sister....until tomorrow and we go through all over again.

Please send your positive thoughts our way!

Schizophrenia in Children: Families Grapple With Costs, Emotional and Financial - ABC News

Schizophrenia in Children: Families Grapple With Costs, Emotional and Financial - ABC News

The video of Brenna is about the family on Dr. Phil that I previously blogged about. Now I'm even mored angry with Dr. Phil for exploiting this poor family. I'm sure the reason why they reached out to Dr. Phil was because they were desperate to get help for their poor daughters in addition to raising awareness about the realities of families living with children with mental illness.

I watched the video while at work and it brought me to tears to see how much tortured Brenna is and how the rest of her family is suffering trying to stay afloat....dealing with Brenna and her sister, fighting to get treatment for her, fighting insurance companies and desperately searching for hospitals to admit and treat her. I've been there and it's a horrible place to be. My positive thoughts and prayers go out to this family and other families enduring this pain.

We're sorry but your request has been denied....

In preparation for his retirement, (I know he's too young but in his line of work, you are elligible after 20yrs and must retire by a certain age) my husband has been reviewing and double-checking to make sure all is in order. He discovered that there was some oversight and there were no life insurance policies for 'A' and me. So, he completed and submitted an application for the two of us. A few weeks later, my application was excepted and my coverage began but 'As' application was still being reviewed. We began to wonder and then worry... Could they really deny a 10yr old child coverage and why? Well, if you recall filling out applications for life insurance policies, there are some questions that ask if you have any on-going illnesses..etc, and any kind of mental illness. Well, you know what happened...

So, here it stands....my 10 year old child, who other than her bipolar diagnosis, is a very healthy girl, cannot get life insurance and I'm sure this will follow her for the rest of her life. It sickens me that many living with mental illness, in spite of being completely functional, professional, and successful, better start putting money aside as soon as they become adults because their families will have to carry the heavy burden of their burial and other expenses. I think I'd like to retract the word "sickens", and insert infuriates me..... that ignorant rich bastards are making these determinations and often devastating families when they are left to see to these people when they pass away.

I don't mean to sound morbid but just "keeping it real".....I don't understand why one with a mental illness is not covered because the only obvious risk/fatality involved would be suicide and...someone please correct me if I'm wrong, suicide deaths are not covered under life insurance policies. Ughhh!!!! People with Mental illnesses can/do get sick and injured and sadly, succumb to illnesses and accidents just like "normal" people. Having a mental illness does not make one more susceptible!!!!!! A lot of work needs to be done to educate the world and abolish these horrible stigmas!!!!

Should I even bother to appeal?

Next post will be about 'A' and the return of instability....